1. Doctors wear scrubs all the time, even when at home.
2. Ex-wives may trade up financially, but never emotionally.
3. Mega-earthquakes and clouds of super-heated ash always move just slightly slower than John Cusack, altering their speed as necessary. Tsunamis are a somewhat different matter.
4. Leaving your children alone when camping while you have a chat with a mentally unstable man inside his trailer is perfectly acceptable parenting.
5. In three years time Paris Hilton will be married to a Russian Oligarch.
6. Shifting tectonics and the reversal of the earth’s poles in no way impairs the navigation systems of Russian cargo aircraft.
7. Eastern monks drink milky tea.
8. Two lessons training as a pilot is more than enough.
9. Car horns are louder than supervolcanoes.
10. When briefing the President about cataclysmic temperature changes it’s considered bad form not to check out the first daughter.
11. The Chinese put a bewildering array of cameras on their vessels. These cameras have microphones and function underwater.
12. The apocalypse unfolds without a drop of blood spilt.
13. Limousines have fantastic suspension, steering, and acceleration.
14. Several days into the end of the world, with all governmental infrastructure destroyed and most cities wiped from the face of the earth, it will still be possible to get a cell phone signal.
15. The dog always makes it.
16. Seeing a tidal wave crash nearer and nearer is not dramatic enough – a prominently placed clock ticking down the seconds until impact is also required.
17. With seconds to live it’s more important to let your friend know he has failed you than embrace your family.
18.The balance of power truly is moving towards China.
19. Novels that end with the line “…and we all realised we had relatives in Wisconsin” are destined to only sell five hundred copies. They will also take exactly twenty-seven days to read, and be considered alongside ‘The Consolation of Philosophy’ as a great work of literature.
20. Dangling a giraffe from a helicopter and careering it through a frozen tundra will not in any way impair its health.
21. Watching various American cities tumble into the earth's core like God sweeping the remains of last night’s dinner into the bin is rather entertaining.
22. The fact that it goes on for 160 minutes is not.
