1. Iraq is
full of crows.
2. Every
blockbuster should open with news reports about the progress of Crossrail.
3. Ancient
Egyptians dumped their problems in Persia.
4. There’s
no problem so big it can’t be solved with an airstrike.
5. Birds
fly at the cruising altitude of a military cargo plane.
6. There’s
only one parachute on military cargo planes.
7. Medieval
England is back in vogue (see also King
Arthur and Transformers: They Keep
Coming).
8. There’s
a secret hideout for monster hunters under Aldwych.
9. It’s not
an easter egg if it gets a close-up.
10. The
only way to establish the setting is a female public toilet is through a prominently
placed tampon dispenser.
11. The
words ‘sarcophagus’ and ‘hieroglyphics’ are impenetrable archaeological jargon.
12. Having
four irises is scary, apparently.
13. Big Ben
is in the Square Mile.
14. In the
midst of an apocalyptic, city-destroying sandstorm London’s tubes will continue
to run.
15. There’s
always an ancient ritual.
16. Which
will always be interrupted.
17. Tom
Cruise cares too much.
18. Russell
Crowe cares not at all.
19. Charlie
Day wasn’t picking up the phone (but Jake Johnson was).
20. It’s ok
to ‘liberate’ precious antiquities from the Middle East with no consent, care,
or paperwork.
21. It’s ok
to be a total liability as long as you’re in charge.
22. It's not ok to copy the Marvel Business Model with a completely unrelated series of properties in another genre and expect an automatic hit.
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